My love for you will be the death of me..

Devastation

As I feel the cold air brush against my warm face, the all to familiar stairway leading to your room and the scent of your cologne that covered the air.

I loved you with such a burning sensation that I no longer had a life without you. I know that now because no one ever made me feel the way you do, touched my body the way you do and kissed me with so much passion that I couldn’t imagine feeling any other guy’s lips on mine but yours.

But the heartbreaking part of it all was….

You always had a girlfriend and I was just the distraction, that was how it’s been for 6 years, and that will never change.

I still remember the first day I met you, I was only 15. Your eyes were blue like the ocean and looked right into my soul it was then that I knew I was lost at sea. I was young and innocent and you flattered me with all the right words. I have been in love with you since then.

I thought he was everything I ever wanted but then I heard he had a girlfriend. We kept in touch but I was never good enough to call you mine. You used me for the intimacy that lacked in your relationship and kept my insecurities at ease, saying you will date me when this was all over. He was in love with her the way I loved him.

When their year long relationship ended I hoped with all my heart that I could finally call him mine. But it was exactly the opposite he wanted nothing to do with me and the only way I could deal with this was having meaningless relationships that somehow made the heartbreak easier.

And then 3 years later I saw him at a party. It was like he never even left, our lips touched and all the feelings came back and he finally decided to date me.

Everything was perfect and I couldn’t be happier then I heard he cheated on me with his ex, my whole world came crushing down and I finally decided to move on with my life.

I moved away from my home town and 2 years went by that we never talked or saw each other.

Then one day out of the blue he came and visit me and I wished with all my heart I could just forget about him.

Still to this day I love him with all my heart and sometimes you fall in love with the wrong guy and that screws up your whole life completely.

How am I suppose to love anyone else if my heart lies with him?

I loved you so much that I forgot what hating myself felt like….

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