Survive

“Why do you write?” he asked me.

The answer almost came naturally. It’s to calm my sanity and rationalize my anxiety. I needed to in order to survive.

“But you have me for that’.” I looked down and I felt the color leaving my face as if my whole life suddenly played out in slow motion.

“You will leave, people leave even if they promised a million times that they would stay, I can’t depend on you like that.” I said with tearful eyes.

He wrapped his arms around me and I knew I should treasure this moment, because our days together were numbered.


 

”You deserve better, I make you a bitter person, I am not good enough” he rambled on while I could feel my heart leaving my body.

I wanted to scream you are, it’s me needing so much from a person that it drains you emotionally.

But I only managed to say “Thank you for leaving even when you promised a million times that you would stay.”

He hang up….

Now I am drowning in sadness and it’s me having to life with myself knowing I pushed another person, someone who loved me, away.

This is why I write because this is the only concrete thing in my life it’s like therapy it keeps me sane. It also somehow makes me feel a little less broken.

xXx

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