“Why do you write?” he asked me.
The answer almost came naturally. It’s to calm my sanity and rationalize my anxiety. I needed to in order to survive.
“But you have me for that’.” I looked down and I felt the color leaving my face as if my whole life suddenly played out in slow motion.
“You will leave, people leave even if they promised a million times that they would stay, I can’t depend on you like that.” I said with tearful eyes.
He wrapped his arms around me and I knew I should treasure this moment, because our days together were numbered.
”You deserve better, I make you a bitter person, I am not good enough” he rambled on while I could feel my heart leaving my body.
I wanted to scream you are, it’s me needing so much from a person that it drains you emotionally.
But I only managed to say “Thank you for leaving even when you promised a million times that you would stay.”
He hang up….
Now I am drowning in sadness and it’s me having to life with myself knowing I pushed another person, someone who loved me, away.
This is why I write because this is the only concrete thing in my life it’s like therapy it keeps me sane. It also somehow makes me feel a little less broken.